Monday, September 26, 2011

Cause Inro 2

           It was a sunny and hot day in Fallujah; three days remained on my tour in Iraq.  Three days and we would be relieved by a new unit; Ten days and I would be home with my wife after seven long months in this desert waste land.  At first, everything seemed normal as we drove through Entry Control Point 1, under the clover leaf and into the city on the main road that was referred to as “Fran” by coalition forces. The local children were playing soccer in the streets, paying no attention to the heavily armed convoy that was driving by; it was a day like many others before.  The radio beeped as local units could be heard reporting their positions; a fighter could be heard flying over head.  It was like a normal day until it happened.  I think about it often and wonder if we could have avoided it.

1 comment:

  1. Certainly an opening with a hook, but the way it's set up it leads to an essay describing ways you could have avoided what happened. That's probably a process essay. What you want here is a slight shift of emphasis. Not 'how to avoid' but 'why it happened.'

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